Better Than Whiskey
by Aeon1622
Summary: She realizes how uncharacteristic this is, but she needed him to know that she appreciated him; and it would seem he had the same idea. The purple hues marring his skin a constant reminder of what she nearly lost. Takes place in the beginning of Mass Effect 3
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Nothing cannon about it with the exception of Kaidan's message, just a random ficlet. I don't want to hear all of this out of character nonsense, I'm aware and it's actually kind of the point.**

**It was all for you for you, cutesy smut action, it was all for you…**

**Also, BIOWARE. They own it, not me. Cool? Cool. Enjoy.**

**;D**

The CIC was bustling with activity as it usually was, but Shepard found that she was a world away from it all; her subconscious mind lost in the heart wrenching memories of a battered biotic motionless in a hospital bed. Missions came and went and alliances were made and after every single one she would bee line it to her personal terminal in hopes for a message from him. So when her terminal _pinged_ during a conversation with Traynor about a toothbrush, she couldn't control the incessant tapping of her foot as she waited for the now mundane conversation to end; Traynor's large brown orbs shown with understanding and quickly turned back to her terminal muttering something about integrating data.

Shepard's feet couldn't have moved the few feet to her personal terminal fast enough, hoping she didn't look as desperate as she felt. Opening her messages and skimming through several "Thank You" messages and an equal amount of "Fuck You" messages she finally came across the one she'd been hoping for. _Subject: Doc says I'm ready for visitors._ There was no one else that could be, and she could feel her eyes light up.

_From: Kaidan Alenko_

_Hey Shepard,_

_Through some combination of a medical miracle and dumb luck, I survived the beating I took on Mars. The doctors say I'm still not ready to be released, but I'd really like to see you if you could spare the time. _

_Councilor Udina offered to make me a Spectre. Still thinking about whether or not I should accept. Stop by my room at the hospital when you're on the Citadel. I'd like your advice._

_Thanks, Kaidan._

She re-read the message two more times, just to make sure she wasn't imagining the "I want to see you" part. Her heart fluttered in her chest; despite being a hardened soldier, Kaidan always reminded her that she was human too, and very much a woman. Her stomach twisted into a knot and she struggled to repress the giggle fighting to escape. A part of her even wondered if she should wear civilian clothes instead of her usual Alliance uniform; she decided to nix that last thought fairly quickly. Joker's voice came over the speaker, snapping her out of her revere of being girly for Kaidan, and found she was pretty thankful for it. Once she gets an idea in her head she doesn't just go through with it, but often goes a little over the top with it. Shooting a deranged fan in the foot to prove a point, throwing a mercenary out of a window along with a witty one liner, head butting a Krogan, the list goes on. Though, on that last one she wasn't completely sure if she had wanted to convince Clan Urdnot or herself that she may actually be part Krogan.

"_Commander, the Asari councilor is on vid-com." _

No. This was not going to happen right now. Besides, she felt that she could safely assume how the conversation was going to go anyway.

"I'm not here. Oh, and Joker, set a course for the Citadel. I'll be in my quarters."

"_Yes, Ma'am. ETA_ _two hours." _Shepard could hear the smile in his voice. Disdain for the Council would always be a common ground bringing her and her helmsman together. She smiled as she headed to the elevator; a message from Kaidan and the opportunity to flip off the Council all at the same time? It was going to be a good day.


	2. Chapter 2

It seemed two hours was too long a wait and the result was clearly visible for everyone to see. Going back to her thoughts about looking nice for Kaidan, Shepard fell victim to a downward spiral of "This couldn't hurt." and "Maybe a bit more…" Heads snapped and chatter quieted as she stepped out of the elevator. Her hair was pulled back into a simple ponytail as opposed to her usual high bun, showing just how long it was. Bright eyes made brighter by eyeliner and mascara, clear gloss swiped across full pink lips. Clad in tight fitted jeans and an even tighter pure white tank top that hugged every curve no one knew was there. It was debatable if she were wearing blush or was blushing from the few dozen pairs of eyes locked on her, mouths completely agape. She was a sight to behold, she had always been called beautiful, but it had never been accentuated as it was just then. The only thing still purely Shepard was that she proudly wore her combat boots; she supposed that some things would never change.

Walking to the airlock almost felt like a walk of shame and she began to wonder if she had gone overboard in her attempt to feel pretty. Leaning against the wall beside the door of the airlock was James, grinning wildly and shaking his head.

"Ay dios mio, Lola! Who would've thought you were hiding all of _that_!?" His eyes scanned her up and down, gleaming with amusement, and she couldn't help the blush and the laugh his overly enthusiastic reaction invoked in her.

"And so much more you'll never get to see, Vega." She smiled brightly at him as she sashayed through the airlock, winking as she walked past. As she walked away she heard him call after her "There you go making me blush again!" and she chuckled as she made her way to Huerta Memorial Hospital.

Shepard stood outside his door for a solid five minutes, the crew's reaction to her appearance making her uncharacteristically self conscious. She closed her eyes and took a deep steadying breath; her first step forward triggered the motion sensor and the metal doors slid open.

Hearing the hiss, Kaidan turned his head a greeting half through his lips before he went silent and his whiskey eyes went wide. He continued to stutter and trip over his words as she walked further into his room and he realized that he sounded like a fool. He watched how her hips swayed as she moved towards him and couldn't help but to think about how he used to grab them when they made love; the memories of those nights now flooding his mind and he couldn't help but to shift his leg in an attempt to hide his growing reaction to those memories.

"How are you feeling, Kaidan?" She smiled at him, genuinely happy to see him safe and stuttering like he used to back on the SR-1, back when things between them were so innocent and promising. He noticed that her eyes were brighter than usual and it made him melt. He was thankful to be laying down; if he saw her like this anywhere else his knees might buckle, and he became suddenly self aware of his own sorry state. He was bruised and broken; his handsome features marred by cuts of all depths, his tanned skin hidden somewhere beneath dark purple hues. He was usually fairly confident in himself, though right now he kind of wished he could hide under the covers.

"It's not as bad as it looks. Implant got a little rattled, just need to keep the biotics offline for a bit. I'm fine." He chuckled, trying to lighten his mood. He definitely didn't plan on their reunion to be quite like this. He had maybe hoped for a sunset somewhere, a drink if they were lucky. He had hoped that if he reminded her of what things were like before Horizon she would be less upset with him for acting like an ass.

"Do you need me to break you out of here?" Amusement flickered in her eyes and Kaidan couldn't help but to smile at her good disposition.

"I'll let you know."

"How is it here? Do you have everything you need?" As warm as it made him feel to know that she cared about him, he hated that he added to her worry.

"Everyone is really nice. Speaking of which, I met your friend, Thane. You fought with him, right? He's a good man. My only complaint about this place is the food isn't that great, but I survived the SR-1's chow so I think I'll live." Shepard told him all about Thane and how they had met; told him about their Suicide Mission, Kaidan felt his heart skip a few beats at the thought of how close he was to losing her again and he didn't even realize it. They laughed together as they remembered the old Normandy and her crew, reminisced about Ashley and her smart mouth, back when things were so much brighter. It tore at his heart to think how far they've fallen."Actually, Shepard, there is something you could do for me…"

"Name it, anything." Not a moment's hesitation before she answered. It made him smile.

"Come back, if you can. Tonight after visiting hours." Her eyes were alight with both amusement and confusion at his request.

"And how do you propose I do that, Major?"

"Well, aside from the ICU and the ER, the place is mostly cleared out after around 1900. You shouldn't have a hard time. Worst case, you're here on Spectre business."

His caramel eyes pleaded with her, mustering up the most pathetic face he could manage; he knew that used to get her every time. She sighed but smiled at him all the same; seems the same trick still worked and the small victory made his heart sing.

"Are you pouting at me, Major? Fine, tonight. I got you something, but I think now I'll save it for later." Her eyes gleamed; she was teasing him and wasn't trying to hide it.

"No fair! What is it? You can't leave me in suspense all that time!" He laughed through his words, clearly not nearly as upset about being left in suspense as he pretended to be; his amber eyes were bright with his humor.

"You know what isn't fair? Cheating with the puppy dog eyes. Two can play at that game." Shepard rose from her seat beside his bed and turned to leave; and once again Kaidan was enamored with how well her cloths hugged her lithe form. "I'll see you tonight, Major."

"Tonight, Commander." His heart was racing and for the first time in a long time his smile reached his eyes. He just hoped he could make things right between them. As soon as she was gone he pulled up his Omni-Tool and began to write a message.

_Hey, this is Kaidan, Shepard's friend. If you have a spare moment, could you stop by? I have a favor to ask. _


	3. Chapter 3

It was happening again; Shepard was falling victim to having too much time to think about things and too many spare credits to not spend on something utterly foolish. After seeing the look on Kaidan's face when he saw her she decided to kick it up a notch; not that she was certain this was a date or anything, but sneaking into a hospital after hours definitely had an alluring feel to it. Frankly, it had been a long time since she'd seen Kaidan and an even longer time since she'd had anything else to do with him; she missed him in more ways than one. A part of her wondered about her selfish behavior, after all the man was nearly beaten to death, but in that same respect that's exactly why she needed him. No more petty fighting, she would take on the entire galaxy bare handed if she needed to, she just couldn't bear to have Kaidan on the opposing team; if nothing else, she would make this right. Tonight she was going to show him just how much she appreciated him.

Wandering the market in Zakera Ward, Shepard went from one store to the next before stumbling upon a woman's clothing store. Through the glass she saw petite mannequins dressed in tiny party dresses that left barely enough to the imagination; the dresses were beautiful, even a soldier like Shepard could appreciate them. Many were made of silk and lace and adorned with brooches and embroidery and ribbon, all things feminine and exactly what she was looking for. Before she had even realized it her feet were moving throughout the aisles and a beautiful Asari approached her with a smile.

"Anything I can help you with today, Ma'am?"

Shepard was a bit overwhelmed by all of the choices, she wondered if she looked as out of place as she felt.

"Yes, please. I have a… date tonight. I want it to be special. I need an outfit, a _full_ outfit. Credits aren't an issue." Shepard could feel her cheeks get hot as she told the Asari what it was that she needed and why, knowing that the sales clerk fully understood what she was asking for.

The sales clerk's eyes lit up and quickly got to work, grabbing Shepard's wrist and nearly dragging her to a fitting room to take measurements of _everything_, top to bottom. Just as suddenly as she had pulled Shepard to the back she pulled her back out into the aisle to ask her about color preferences. The Asari sighed and muttered a "Never mind…" as she saw the deer in headlights look on Shepard's face. She bounced from one side of the store to the next grabbing dresses and shoes and bras of all styles and colors. The Asari stopped to look at a frozen Shepard standing awkwardly in the middle of the store.

"If you'd like Ma'am, we have a full salon in the back. Right through that door."

_Well, why the fuck not? Balls in or go home, right? _Anxiety started to set in as she began to wrap her head around what exactly she was about to do. She hoped she didn't end up looking like a fool; even if Kaidan was too nice to hold it over her head, she'd hold it over her own head. Each step towards the back of the store was another flip of her stomach. _Let's do this…_


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan paced around his room, readjusting his white button down shirt for the third time, smoothing out his black slacks for the fifth. He was genuinely beginning to fear his risk for heart failure might have drastically gone up in the past few hours.

"You're worrying too much."

Kaidan felt he must have jumped ten feet into the air at the unexpected intrusion. Turning with wide eyes and pink cheeks he spotted the owner of the voice leaning against his door.

"Thane, Jesus—you scared the hell out of me!" He gripped his chest and took a deep breath; his nerves were running him ragged.

"My apologies." Though the slight smile on his face says he wasn't as sorry as he claimed. "There is nothing more for you to do but wait. Which, I gather is the hard part."

The glass looking out into the hall was covered with a long red silk sheet; similar sheets now adorn the hospital bed instead of the white cotton hospital standard ones, which was now repositioned along the wall as to not block the view out the large window. Several eating trays were positioned along the walls holding holos of flower bouquets and actual tea light candles. A small sound system was turned just loud enough to hear a light classical tune; violins and a piano filled the air with calm. Unfortunately unable to sneak in a table and chairs, several dark red pillows lay on the floor on top of yet another red silk sheet; two more flat trays lay on the ground, candles arranged in front of the window. Thane had gone to the market, bought everything with Kaidan's credit chit and set it all up in the time that Kaidan calmed his nerves and got himself ready; he couldn't help his surprise as he got out of the shower to see a shaving kit, a bottle of cologne, and his new cloths folded neatly on the bathroom counter.

"I apologize for the holos. Since Earth was hit by the Reapers real flowers have been harder to come by."

Kaidan's eyes softened, he was truly grateful for the Drell's help; he knew he never would have made this possible by himself. He walked up to the Drell and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Thane, thank you. If you ever need to cash in a favor, I owe you big." Thane smiled and patted his new friend lightly on the back, careful of his injuries.

"One last thing before I go. I spoke with Dr. Michel. I convinced her to make sure you are undisturbed during your visit."

Kaidan raised a brow at that and crossed his arms over his chest, genuinely interested as to how he made that happen. "Care to share how you managed?"

The Drell chuckled. "It would seem our doctor is still quite taken with a Turian she was once close with. After he resigned from C-Sec, I had the pleasure of working with him, which means that I have his updated contact information."

"Good ol' bribery, huh?"

"It worked, didn't it?" And just like that, he was gone; once again leaving Kaidan to fall victim to his nerves.

He wandered over to the window and tried to appreciate the view of the Citadel from his room, hopeful that preoccupying his mind with something else would slow his racing heart; but the more time he had to think the more he began to wonder if making such a strong assumption about him still having a chance with Shepard was wrong. His brows furrowed and his full lips turned downward in a slight frown as he thought about his current situation. What if she hated him for turning her down on Horizon? Or for questioning her allegiance on Mars? _Hell, I practically called her a Husk at one point… _

Kaidan was so wrapped in his thoughts that he had barely heard the soft hiss of the door and the light clicking of heels on the tile floor. It wasn't until he heard a sharp intake of breath that he turned around to see Shepard standing in the middle of his room, eyes wider than he'd ever seen them.

"Kaidan… This is incredible! How..?" Her eyes darted from one side of the room to the next.

He couldn't move, couldn't speak, he was frozen to the spot by the sight before him; he couldn't remember ever seeing a more beautiful sight. Shepard's hair was let down now and cascaded down to the small of her back, large neat curls framed her face. Dark eye shadow was dusted across her lids and light pink gloss swiped across her lips. Her lavender lace dress hugged her body perfectly, what little of it was covered by the thin fabric. The off the shoulder sleeve and deep V cut allowed Kaidan's eyes to feast on the expanse of her neck, her collar bone, and the fullness of her breasts. The hem of her dress barely covering her toned thighs; her long legs made longer by a pair of black kitten heels. His desire was quickly becoming animalistic as thoughts of throwing her legs over his shoulders bombarded his mind. He imagined that the look on his face gave him away when he noticed the light blush on her cheeks.

"I had some help." Though his voice was low and husky, he couldn't hide the shy smile that graced his lips at her reaction. He had almost forgotten how happy it made him to make her happy.

She smiled at him then, holding up two bags he hadn't realized she was holding, one with _Apollo's_ _Cafe_' printed on the side. "I brought your favorite, hope it doesn't ruin your shirt. Managed to find some beer too, not your Canadian Lager, but its Earth brewed."

"Beats the sandwiches and jello cups I managed to steal from the cafeteria." They both laughed at that, though the look in her eyes said that she appreciated the thought nonetheless. Kaidan walked over to her to take the two bags from her and laid them down near the two trays on the floor. "It's not that I'm not grateful, Shepard, but this is supposed to be my way of making things up to you; all you had to do was show up."

Her eyes softened "I know, but I think that I have a few things to make up to you as well. We've both made mistakes. Besides, after hearing your plight of dealing with bad hospital food, I thought you deserved a treat."

Shepard took a tentative step towards him, gauging to see how close she could get without making him uncomfortable; when he smiled at her she moved closer until they were mere inches apart. Cautiously raising her hand, she cupped his face, gently stroking the bruised flesh with her thumb. Her brows furrowed ever so slightly, eyes were suddenly sad and apologetic; her mouth opened and closed again as though she needed to tell him something but didn't know how. Kaidan leaned into her touch, raising his hand to rest on hers. "Shepard, just say it, whatever it is."

"I hesitated. I saw EVA grab you, heard your cry, and I watched as it nearly killed you. I didn't have your back. I'm sorry." Her voice was low and full with the emotion she tried so hard to hide.

"No, don't do that to yourself. It could've done so much worse to me if you hadn't been there. I'm alive, a little achy, but alive." She simply nodded, acknowledging what he had said but not truly believing him. Kaidan lifted his hand from hers to tuck her hair behind her ear and immediately noticed the large shimmering stud she adorned. He raised his brows and smiled at her. "Jewelry?" a light blush and the roll of her eyes was her only response. Quickly changing the subject she pulled him towards the pile of pillows. "I think you should divert your attention to the steak sandwich and the beer that are both steadily becoming room temperature." Kaidan followed Shepard to their makeshift dining area, taking a seat across from her. Trying to remain a gentleman and resist gawking at the fully exposed legs in front of him was a harder task than he thought it would be. Her already short dress riding up as she sat down on the floor; though it was quickly pushed to the back of his mind as he was handed a hot sandwich and a cold brew.

"Cheers, to fighting the good fight. And to your Spectre nomination; I couldn't think of a more worthy candidate." Kaidan smiled at her as he lightly clinked his bottle to hers and took a swig.

Their meal was fairly uneventful, if there was one way to keep Kaidan quiet and happy, it was with food; aside from the occasional grunt of approval not much interaction took place. Once their sandwiches were demolished and they had downed the last of the beer did the attention finally go back to each other; stomachs full and nerves calmed, both parties were acting more like themselves and less like bumbling kids on prom night. "Shepard, that was amazing. Thank you. The surprise was definitely worth the wait."

"Oh! I almost forgot about that!" Shepard shifted onto her knees and crawled over to where Kaidan had laid the bags down and began to shift through them. Kaidan felt that after what he'd been through that he deserved a bit of luck, and having so many opportunities to admire the body of the woman he loved in so many different positions was definitely his luck turning for the better. Kaidan leaned his head to the side to better view the round backside almost fully exposed before him; he was suddenly happy that Shepard wasn't used to wearing dresses, as it had ridden up further to the point that Kaidan knew that she was wearing purple lace panties that matched her dress. Biting his lip to stifle a groan at being so close yet so very far, he turned his attention away from his growing need and back to what Shepard might be digging for.

"You mean there's more?"

"Aha!" and the rummaging ceased. Shepard presented a large glass bottle with amber colored liquid inside. The label on the bottle read _Alberta Springs: Canadian Rye Whiskey. 10 years vintage._ "You mentioned that you were a whiskey fan, when I saw it I just had to." Kaidan's eyes were wide with both shock and great appreciation. He wanted to pull her into his arms and hold her tightly for everything that she was doing for him, but was afraid that he might be overstepping his bounds if he did. "Shepard… I… where did you find this?"

Shepard poured the whiskey into small plastic cups. "I saw that it was available on Terra Nova and had Cortez procure it for me." She handed him a cup, feeling proud of herself for making the find, she knew he would enjoy it, but didn't think it would mean that much to him. She watched his face as he took his first sip, eyes the color of the liquid in his small plastic cup closed and he hummed his approval; his face had a look of bliss and it had made her happy to know she had been the cause.

As Shepard took a tentative sip of her own whiskey an idea struck her. She laid her cup on the floor and rose off of the pillow pile, beckoning Kaidan to do the same. Though confused, he rose from his spot and watched as she began to throw the pillows onto the bed and threw the rumpled sheet in a corner. Shepard unlocked the wheels of the hospital bed and rolled it into the center of the room; raising the bed into a lounging position so that they could lay back and enjoy the view of the Citadel more comfortably. Shepard grabbed her drink and laid herself on one side of the bed and patted for Kaidan to settle in next to her. The space beside her was definitely not enough, he wasn't a small guy, the bed had barely been comfortable enough for him to sprawl out on by himself; but he gulped his whiskey, laid down his cup, and did his best to settle in without falling off the edge.

"Umm, Shepard, I don't think this is working. Here let's try this…" Kaidan motioned for Shepard to move up while he settled himself in the center of the small bed, leaning forward he wrapped his arms around Shepard's slender waist and pulled her back against his chest, his legs on either side of her. Kaidan reveled at the feel of holding her again, not realizing how badly he had wanted to until just then. He could smell the floral scent of her hair, the vanilla scented perfume sprayed on her neck, feel the contrast of strong muscles and soft skin; he was falling in love with her all over again. Shepard tilted her head back to rest against him and closed her eyes, a sigh of content escaping her full lips.

"You know, Kaidan, you have an amazing view of the Presidium from here. I don't want to hear about how bad you have it now that I've seen it for myself." Shepard could feel his chest rumble as he chuckled in response. "I guess it's not _all_ bad. Hey, do you think Apollo's delivers? Then I'd be set up pretty nicely, huh?" Shepard turned her head to look up at him, smiling brightly. "I hope not! I'll never get you back on the Normandy!"

Kaidan smiled back at her, although his face was a more serious now; that man had a way of thinking too much and it never led him anywhere but down. "After everything… Horizon… Mars… are you sure you still want me on the Normandy?" Shepard turned her body fully to face him, cupping his face in her hands. "Kaidan, we've both made mistakes. I don't blame you for acting the way you did. I disappeared for two years and then I show up in a Cerberus uniform. I would have been angry too if it was you. I forgave you when you sent me that message, are you going to forgive yourself?"

Shepard stared at him intently, but her fellow soldier didn't reply; instead he leaned into her and closed the slight distance between them. Kaidan's kiss was chaste, all of his doubts and insecurities making him cautious. "Umm… was that okay?" His honey colored eyes danced with all of the emotions he was feeling; doubt, love, fear, lust and it made Shepard's stomach twist deliciously as heat began to pool between her legs.

Shepard turned to face him fully, straddling his frame before pulling his face back to hers roughly; a silent demand for more contact with the other soldier. Earnest hands began tearing open shirts with no regard for buttons and hiking up skirts to roughly grab the flesh beneath; both desperate to remove the barriers between them, wanting only the scorching heat of skin on skin. Shepard was sure that she'd have black and blue handprints on her ass tomorrow by the way he was handling her and found that the thought only fueled her desire for him.

Cloths were tossed half hazardly onto the pristine white floor; lace was torn and zippers broken, lips never once detaching from skin. Soon their own song drowned out the sonata still playing softly and they danced long after the candles has gone out leaving a thin line of smoke in their wake. As the holo bouquets flickered with the last of their life, the two lovers panted in a tangled heap of limbs and silk; hearts hammering against their hardened chests.

Half lidded eyes gazed languidly into amber ones. "Kaidan, I love you." A petite, but calloused, hand moved to pet the hair of the man laying his head atop her breast. He rose then to look down into the eyes that showed the truth in her words, bright and honest. "I love you too, Shepard. I always have." Placing a chaste kiss on her forehead he lay his head back down, a goofy grin on his handsome face.

"Ya know, Shepard, whiskey is great, but I'd take this surprise any day."

"Better than whiskey, huh?"

"Way better."


End file.
